Knight Douchebag
by Demonlord5000
Summary: Every girl imagines being saved by a knight in shining armor. When Annie's life is threatened, Douchebag will have to make that fantasy come true. Story for The Awesome Writer 100. Takes place after the blonde girl.


Douchebag sat on his couch, trying to understand the concept of some new Canadian show. He still thought Terrence and Phillip was better. He'd rather spend time with his girlfriend Annie, but she had not been feeling well today. He'd been dating Annie for over a week, and the girls at school were always calling them a cute pair. He looked around at the sound of the doorbell. His parents were at the store so, with a sigh, he got up and pulled the front door open. In front of him was a kid Douchebag had never seen before. The kid looked like he was just in a struggle.

"Who the hell are you?" Douchebag asked in a bored tone.

"Name's Bobby." The kid gasped, holding an ice pack against his eye.

"And?"

"You're gonna do something for me kid." Douchebag starred at the boy for a moment, and then slammed the door in his face. "Do it or that Annie girl gets it!" Bobby shouted through the door. Douchebag flung the door open and grabbed the kid's throat.

"The fuck did you say!?" Douchebag hissed.

"Ok, first, dude, you really need a mint, second, I have that girlfriend of yours hostage, and unless you do what I say, I'll cut her throat!"

"What. The. Fuck. Do. You. Want!?" Douchebag hissed angrily.

"Dude, seriously, eat a Tic Tac or something."

"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT!?" Douchebag yelled.

"Bring me Wendy Testaburger, I don't care if you do it by force, just bring her to the school alive! Try anything, and I'll kill Annie!" He pulled free of Douchebag's grip and set off down the road. "And there's this thing called mouthwash!" Douchebag didn't listen; he was too worried about what to do.

XXXXXX

Douchebag walked into the girl's headquarters, hardly believing what he was about to do. The girls looked up at his entrance, Wendy above them all.

"Oh, Douchebag. What can we do for you?"

"Uh….I need your guy's help with something."

"Of course, what can we do to help?"

"Uhh…GET THE FUCK DOWN!" Douchebag yelled, pulling out a gun. The girls all screamed and ducked for cover, except Wendy.

"Is this a joke or something?" Douchebag fired the gun, hitting a glass of water next to Wendy. This time, the raven haired girl screamed and leapt to the ground, her berate falling off in the process. Douchebag hesitantly moved behind the podium and pulled Wendy to her feet. He held the gun to her head and dragged her out of the room.

"L-listen new kid." Wendy began in fear. "I'm sure we can talk about this!"

"Wendy, I don't want to hurt you!" Douchebag whispered as he pulled her into the park.

"Then just let me go! We can just all forget about this!"

"I'm sorry Wendy." Douchebag said with regret. He looked to the entrance to the park. _"Aw fuck me!" _At the entrance to the park a boy dressed in role-playing garbs was standing. A blue helmet with a red feather sat on his head. Before he could stop her, Wendy screamed, getting the boy's attention. Stan looked over and saw Douchebag holding his girlfriend at gunpoint.

"HEY!" Stan pulled out his sword, charging forward. Douchebag shoved Wendy out of the way and pulled out his role-playing axe. Both boys swung and locked weapons.

"Stan, you don't understand!"

"I'LL FUCKING MURDER YOU!" Stan pulled his blade away and raised it. Douchebag, fearing for his life, did what was probably the stupidest thing you could ever do to a friend.

He shot Stan.

The sword fell from the boy's grasp, and the boy himself collapsed. Wendy shrieked in horror as Douchebag dropped the gun in shock. The shock began to fade as he realized there was no blood. He carefully reached over and pulled Stan's shirt up, revealing a dragon shaped necklace, a sign of damage where the bullet had struck. _"Oh thank god."_ He helped Stan to his feet, only for the raven haired boy to wrap his hands around Douchebag's throat.

"Gah! Dude!" He managed to force the boy's hands away from his throat, but that didn't calm Stan down a bit.

"What the fuck is wrong with you!?" Stan hissed, clutching his chest in pain.

"I'm sorry!"

"Why the fuck would you do this!?"

"Because there's this new kid in town, and he's got Annie hostage and he said he'll hurt her if I don't bring him Wendy!" Stan straightened up, calmer after Douchebag's story.

"Dude, I guess that's a good reason to do this." Stan looked from Douchebag, to Wendy, and back to Douchebag. "I have a plan that will make sure neither of us lose our girlfriends."

XXXXXX

"Good to see you held up your end of the bargain." Bobby whispered as Douchebag pulled a tied up Wendy toward him.

"Where's Annie!?" Douchebag hissed. Bobby rolled his eyes and pointed to a nearby freezer. Douchebag's eyes widened.

"Dude don't worry, she's alive." Bobby said as he walked up and grabbed the rope leash that tied Wendy, only to notice Douchebag wouldn't let go. "Let go dude." Douchebag raised his fingers to his lips, and whistled loudly. Before Bobby could react, a pair of hands forced him to the ground. Stan kicked the boy in the side as hard as possible. Douchebag joined in, both boys beating Bobby until he was nothing more then a whimpering bloody pulp. Stan leaned over the beaten boy.

"If you _ever_ lay a hand on Wendy, or Annie ever again, we'll fucking kill you! Do you understand!?" Not waiting for an answer, Stan straightened up and began to untie Wendy while Douchebag rushed over to the freezer and forced it open. He pulled out a shivering blonde girl. Her skin was paled from the cold and she was covered in frost.

"Annie…" Before Douchebag could go on, she wrapped her hands around the boy and pulled him into a hug.

"I kn-knew you'd come!" Annie croaked. Douchebag sighed with relief.

"I'm so glad you're Ok." He helped Annie to her feet while Stan walked over with Wendy. "Did he hurt you?"

"I think I did more damage to him then he did to me." Annie whispered, causing Douchebag to laugh.

"Well, now that that's done with, anyone want pizza?" Stan suggested. Douchebag, Annie, and Wendy nodded in agreement and followed the boy to the local pizza restaurant.

3 HOURS LATER.

Bobby lay in the same place, in too much pain to attempt getting up. Just when he was thinking of staying there all night, a blonde haired girl walked by, stopping feet from him.

"Hey kid, you alright?"

"Do I look like I'm alright!?" Bobby groaned. The girl rolled her eyes and pulled Bobby to his feet, before helping him to the neighborhood district.

"I'm Bebe by the way."

"Bobby."


End file.
